Lessons from the defining decade
✓ Get married.
✓ Have kids.
✓ Invest in property.
✓ Build your career.
✓ Look the best you’ve ever looked.
All notorious commands given to 20 somethings as they desperately attempt to lay the foundation for the rest of their lives. Knowing how to strategically maneuver around this time of life can wreck havoc on young minds.
A pre-pandemic LinkedIn study surveying thousands of 25-33 year olds around the world suggests that a staggering 75 percent of adults have experienced a quarter-life crisis by the age 27.
Add economic turmoil, political unrest, non-existent job security, and a burgeoning loneliness epidemic to the fold and there’s no surprise 20 somethings are walking around with more weight on their shoulders than they can bear. Between societal expectations, comparison traps, and the relentless pursuit towards predefined milestones, it’s easy to cast a shadow over the potential for growth, exploration, and the pure unadulterated joy of being young and free.
Thankfully, the rise in 30+ year-old content creators shedding light on the joys of graceful aging offers a light at the end of the decade-long tunnel leading to: crystal clear self-awareness, liberation, alignment, discernment, boundaries, stability, and peace.
We’re calling out common myths and misconceptions about your 20s that you should ditch today. It’s time to break free from the shackles keeping you bound to your life’s current circumstances.
“You should know what career path you want”
It’s time to begin viewing college as the pricey yet valuable experiment that it is, offering a forum to explore interests, cultivate work styles, build networks, and gain a glimpse into adult life. However, it’s essential for young adults to release the pressure of deciding their lifelong path prematurely. While majors provide foundational knowledge, they don’t always accurately represent future realities. If you’re certain about a career, like aspiring nurses, that’s commendable. Yet, uncertainty is far more common, and many professionals switch careers later on. Embrace internships, work studies, and study abroad programs to discover your preferences. The sooner you realize that most careers don’t follow a linear path, the more agile you’ll become to navigate changing tides.
Consider this anecdote: A close friend earned degrees in Psychology and Education before embarking on a career in university sports. Years later, he ventured into sales, experiencing remarkable growth in both salary and quality of life. Post-college job hunting is challenging enough; avoid adding pressure by staying open to options. Some of the most inspiring career stories arise from individuals who navigated unexpected turns with resilience and adaptability.
“Your degree is enough”
In a world where additional schooling is becoming more of a job requirement, the value of a degree is gradually diminishing. Surprisingly, the cost of tuition continues to skyrocket. While this doesn’t diminish the accomplishment of earning an undergraduate degree, young adults should be realistic about what employers actually deem a competitive advantage. As a student-athlete, I focused on grades and sports achievements, but diversifying my activities strategically helped me secure multiple job offers post-college.
Facing a panic attack in my freshman year, I switched from a business program to public relations with my brother’s guidance. Social media, reputation management, digital marketing, media relations, brand storytelling, copywriting, and events? Count me in. To bolster my portfolio, I joined student organizations, compensating for internship conflicts with summer training. In and after college, I recommend seeking networking organizations, clubs, and shadowing opportunities to enhance your resume, as this age-old 8.5 x 11″ will no longer suffice.
“Retirement is far away”
We’ll keep this one short and sweet. It’s not a myth told to young adults, but rather a myth that we tend to tell ourselves, which is that retirement is a distant concept that we don’t need to worry about just yet. Let’s put it this way…the longer you take advantage of retirement plans, the more your future self will thank you. Welcome to the land of adulthood, where instant gratification is few and far between and most of your seeds bear fruit later.
“Friends will always be there for you”
Well, yes, friends will be there for you but maybe not always. As you get older, learn to set realistic expectations for your support system. While they’re there to help pour into you, they’re simultaneously dealing with their own issues and that needs to be respected, as well. I put a lot of pressure on myself to show up and show out for my friends, but I’ve found that putting that same pressure on them can cause stress on the friendship. Learn to extend more grace and know that everyone is doing the best that they can. Friends are friends…not trained therapist prepared to deal with every single issue you encounter. Therapy and self-soothing will become your new besties.
“Marriage is the ultimate goal”
Don’t get me wrong– marriage is a beautiful and sacred thing that’s high on my life’s to-do list, but it’s not the ultimate goal. You don’t get an award that says you win at life the moment you say “I do” and I wish I could’ve debunked this myth in my early 20s. I went to college in a southern state where the natural progression following school was to get married to your college sweetheart and pop out babies shortly following your honeymoon and while that works for some, it doesn’t for others. There are so many beautiful things to do and see in this life and marriage is just one of them. You’re not any less successful or accomplished without a ring on your finger, nor is your life over once it is. Take this beautiful commitment and reflection of Christ’s love for His Church seriously by waiting for the right person, time and situation to get married. In the meantime, pour into yourself, your friendships, your career, your hobbies, your travel bucket list, etc. and the right person will come along. Being desperate to upgrade from girlfriend/boyfriend often leaves many entangled with the wrong one.
“Parents know best”
Well, this is kind of a myth. Parents know a lot. Mine, in particular, are especially great at offering sound advice on everything from relationships to investments, passion projects, home-buying, etc. But, they don’t always know best for your life. And that’s okay! As you get older and begin humanizing your parents, you understand that they, too, are venturing through life for the first time. And while they’re a great resource for bouncing off ideas, they don’t always have all of the answers for your life.
Learn to hone in on your own voice as an adult to make decisions that you want to do by yourself, for yourself. This is a crucial step in your evolution as a person. I’ve also picked the brains of industry professionals in my career, therapists, friends, mentors and other family members in addition to my parents to give me a more balanced collection of advice; and have found that it’s the best way for me to arrive at a decision. They’ve had their chance to create their own life and it’s time for you to do the same.
What advice would you give yourself in your early 20s? Leave a comment below!
